Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

People who snore always fall asleep first.

Author Unknown

And therein lies the problem. I snore. It's due to being overweight. It's a sleep apnea thing. Though, my sleep apnea is mild. My weight is too high. I know that. I've always struggled with it. I hate that it's such a problem. Being 5'2" and an emotional eater doesn't exactly work in my favor. And my lack of willpower. I don't sit around on a chaise lounge indulging in bon bons. I've never done that. And I don't eat all of the time. I just make poor food choices. And I don't exercise enough. I do the bare minimum. I should do more and I want to do more. And now that the weather is improving and the farmer's market will be opening in a few weeks....things will change. It's a slow process....losing weight. I know that. I accept that. Yes. I wish I could do the "I Dream of Jeannie" thing and blink it away. But I can't. I wish I was thinner and could wear a size smaller. I wish I felt so healthy and ready to go. I think one of the things that bothers me most is my sleeping. It's not restful. I toss and turn. I snore. So much so that D. has to sleep on the sofa. I keep him awake and that's not a good thing. With his job...he HAS to get good sleep. The snoring makes me feel so ugly. I don't know how else to put it. And the tossing and turning is frustrating. You'd think I'd be falling asleep at the drop of a hat. You'd think I'd be falling over during the day but I don't. I'm awake. I do things. I'm not napping all day. I just hate bedtime. I hate being a restless sleeper. I hate it that D. can't get good, healthy sleep in bed with me. I know it all boils down to me losing the extra pounds. Guess I thought doing this stupid nose surgery would make a huge difference. Maybe I relied on that a little too much. I have to put myself on notice once and for all. It's now or never, baby. Get healthy. Just do it. For D. For S. But mostly for myself. Just do it.