It's cold!!!

It's cold! It's cold! It's very, very cold! It's 20*! Now...I'd like to ask. Where's the snow? lol I want snow. I do. I really, really do. I love snow. I love playing in it. I love looking at it...all sparkly and pretty. I love coming inside after playing....all cold and ready to get warm. Having hot chocolate and wrapping up in a blanket. I love that. But...living in the south...having snow isn't a common thing. Sometimes I wish we lived in the northeast, so we could have snow. But we don't. We're here. In the south. Rarely do we get snow. Damn it. lol I can dream, tho. Right? Maybe if I go outside and do a snow dance...then it'll happen? lol

new things....

NEW THINGS!! I love to read. I love to listen to music. Sometimes I get caught up in the same old, same old. It happens. But I've found a new author and a new band. I'm so excited. The new author is Robert Crais. Thanks to my friend, I have been introduced to Elvis Cole and his partner, Joe Pike. Elvis is a private investigator and Joe is his kick butt side kick. The books are mysteries and I've gone from the romance genre to Elvis and his cases. So far, there are 12 books in the series and I've read up through #5. I have 2 more here to read (borrowed from the library) and I've already put 8-11 on hold at the library to have during my surgery recovery time frame. I've been reading these books pretty much in one day. I love them that much. I think I have a crush on Elvis! lol There's just something about him that really appeals to me. I'm digging his stories. Of course, I'm still reading my romance novels...just bought one yesterday and am almost done reading it. I had to do it. Had to read it. Something about the hero of that book that makes me swoon. lol Hey. Can't help it! But I'm hooked on Elvis Cole and have signed up for Robert Crais' newsletters. That way I'll know when each new book is released. Yea!

Also....new music....Forty Foot Echo. Who knew? I was checking out the new releases on iTunes and I discovered Forty Foot by accident. They are awesome! They rock. Seriously! I downloaded 4 of their songs to my iPod but will end up doing the 2 albums. I know I will. They remind me of Nickelback...just a bit. AND Nickelback has a new album out as well and it rocks, too. But I'm thrilled to have found FFE. I downloaded their songs Drift, Save Me, Brand New Day and Long Way Down. Very, very good.

I'm loving Elvis. I'm loving Forty Foot Echo. I'm feeling pretty good right now.

:-)

Making it...........

Eight days into 2009. So far, so good. I feel in control. Getting things clean and organized. There's something about putting things in their places. There's something about staying on top of the chaos....of keeping my environment together. It makes life easier. I don't do well in chaos. I do much, much better with organization. And I'm liking how things are falling into place. It feels good. :-)

I'm having surgery on the 21st to correct my deviated septum. Who knew my septum was deviated??? Certainly not me. I went into the ENT dr. with what I thought was an ear infection and she tells me all of these other problems I have. Oh well. Getting old is a bitch. Right? lol So I'm going to do this surgery. Am I looking forward to it? HELL NO! But I figure I'm an adult...all grown up and I should do everything I can about being healthy. So I'm doing the surgery. Yeehaw! That's one of the reasons why I'm in a nesting mode. I always seem to do this when I'm having a medical procedure or going out of town. I just get into this place where I have to clean and organize. Maybe it's cuz I'm thinking about the silent what if's. What if something happens to me? Then D. and S. won't have to worry about cleaning and organizing. So ridiculous. I know. It's just a thing with me. D. has days off from work to take care of me after the surgery. I'm so thankful that he's such a caring person. When it comes to surgery and his loved ones being sick...he's so thoughtful and loving and attentive. My analytical, logically, non-romantic husband. lol He's the best. He has his moments. We all do. No one is perfect. I'm just thankful that he's in my life. Good and bad. I know I can count on him. He'll be there. He'll take care of me and S. It'll be okay. Even though I'm scared I know he'll be there to comfort and reassure me. :-) I'll just be glad when the whole darn thing is over. At least the house and life will be clean and organized. lol At least I'll have done as much as I can so D. doesn't have to worry about any of that. And I'll feel more in control because of what I'm doing. It's good...feeling in control. I like it. I like it a lot.

It's 2009!

Okay. So it's a new year. 2009. It's a clean slate....a fresh start. It's full of possibilities. Last year was a rollercoaster ride. It was a bit overwhelming with the up's and down's. I'm open to a better year. One that's not a crazy ride. I don't think I've made any resolutions. You know how that goes. You make a resolution and then you seem to break it. You don't follow through. I'm thinking of 2009 as a chance for me to work towards goals. I'm not going to beat myself up over setbacks. I'm going to slowly work on moving forward and reaching the place I yearn to be. I have to do it in small steps so it won't feel so overwhelming. That works best for me. One small step at a time. I can do that. Yep.

I had such a tough time with the holidays. I used to love everything about Christmas. I always felt like a kid...even when I was in my 20's. Somewhere along the line, I switched from being that kid to feeling blue and not wanting to decorate, etc. Don't know if it's related to my mood disorder or not. I just don't know. Now that S. is in our life, we need to decorate and make it kid-like....and I want that for him. I want to see his face and recapture that joy. There's something about seeing a child's excitement during the holidays. Still....I didn't want to decorate. I struggled with it, but did it for S. With the economy being what it is....we just weren't able to buy gifts and spoil family and friends....and I had a hard time with it. I felt guilty and very sad. We couldn't do a lot for S. (sigh) My family agreed to make it about the kids. We agreed that the grown up's wouldn't exchange gifts. Imagine our surprise and guilt on Christmas morning when my family had gifts for me and D. He and I were so very embarrassed. I ended up in tears. The kids were thrilled but D. and I were both sad and felt guilty as hell. We'd agreed to make it about the kids and my family didn't do what they said they'd do. Now don't get me wrong. We appreciated what they did and the gifts they gave us. We're very thankful and they're extremely generous. I wish, tho, that they'd done what we agreed. (sigh) I'm just happy that we're into the new year....that the holidays are done. And I hope that when we roll around to Christmas 2009, I'll be in a much better place emotionally...that we'll be in a better place financially so we can give gifts and spoil our family and friends.

So it's 2009. We made it through 2008 and now have a brand new year to enjoy. We have a chance to move forward...to make changes....to embrace the possibilities. Maybe it's about having a mindset. You know...the think, there for I am? Maybe our mantra could be it's a new year, a clean slate therefore anything is possible. (g) Maybe throwing off the gloomy attitude will be the best thing I can do. I'll try on a new one and see how it fits. I'm sure there will be times when I fall and struggle but I pray that I'll quickly pull myself up. I know I have it in me. I know I can do it. I can.

Here's a toast to 2009. A new year....a fresh start. It's a brand new day. Embrace it.