Hurt feelings

I know it's my sensitivity kicking in. I know how I am. Wearing my heart on my sleeve. I just can't seem to stop it. I wasn't sure how I'd feel when the day came that S. would start to wonder and question his being adopted. We want him to know that he's adopted...that it's okay to talk about it. We absolutely do not want to keep that hidden. That's not right. He's only 6 years old and I'm sure he doesn't fully understand. But he's started asking questions and making statements. He's making comments that I know are natural but they hurt me. And I shouldn't take them to heart. But I do. Recently, he told me that I'm the best #2 mom. I guess that shouldn't hurt, but it does. And then last night, he said he was upset that he had to wait so long to meet his real mom. My heart hurts. I can't help it. My feelings are hurt. I don't know how to put it. I feel like a substitute. I don't feel like a "real" mom right now. I feel like I'm just filling in. And isn't that ridiculous that I feel that way. I know he has questions. Rightfully so. I wish I didn't take it to heart. I wish I was mature enough to rise above what he says. I'm a grown up and I should understand that these comments are going to be made. D. says I'm blowing it way out of proportion and he's probably right. I have a tendency to do that. I need to take lots of deep breaths and let it go. I'm just having a difficult time at the moment. I love S. with all that I am. I prayed for him and God answered my prayers. All I ever wanted was to be a mom. And I love S. with every breath I take. I guess I wish I didn't "rank" as #2. I guess I want to feel like a "real" mom. I didn't give birth to him. I didn't carry him in my body so I guess....technically.... I'm not a "real" mom. I don't know. I don't see him as my adopted son. I see him as mine. Completely. I didn't birth him but I feel like he is so much a part of me....I feel as if I did. I guess I have to toughen up. Not sure how I'll accomplish that. I've never been good at that. I'm too emotional and too sensitive so I'm not sure how I'll get past those things. I've been this way for all of my life and it's hard to change. And that's probably a cowardly thing to say but there it is. Today is just a sad day for me. My feelings are hurt and I'm going to have to go through them cuz I can't go around them. And it sucks.