So I'm following my friend, Sabrina's lead. I'm starting a blog. A place where I can think, dream, write, just express myself. I've always loved writing...journaling, so this seems like a good idea. I should be journaling by hand...something I used to do with a cartridge pen and a diary. Now, I find it easier to do it on the computer. I still write by hand. I have my journal with the lined pages. I love doing that. Doing it on the computer lets me get my thoughts out faster. The spelling may not be perfect but I try.
There's a lot going on in my life right now. It's always drama city, but isn't life like that? I'm struggling to maintain, to be strong and hang in there. Some days, I do really well. Other days, I have the hardest time just pulling myself out of bed. But I do. I throw the covers back and I get up. Today was a tough day. I had to keep myself moving forward. I wanted to curl up in bed where I'd feel warm and I could snooze. I felt weepy. I wish my moods didn't swing like they do, but it comes with the bipolar territory. So often, I wish I felt "normal" but that's just not possible. Is anyone really "normal?" Wouldn't we all be dull and boring if we were normal? Still...that term seems to "mean" something in my mind. Like I'm not normal right now. Like I need to change something in myself so I'll be a regular person. ???? What the hell? I'll never get past that...feeling like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole. KWIM?
Anyway...this is my 1st post. My 1st step into an unknown place for me. Blogging. It's so 21st century. lol I'll see how I do. If I can actually keep up with this. I'd like to. I'd like to do something different to keep myself out there. Outside of myself. Instead of hiding inside. Maybe this will be a new, open door for me. We'll see.
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