Time goes on and the days pass by. That's life. Day by day. It's funny how the days seem to go by so slowly and yet time flies. What's up with that?
So I'm sitting here wondering why life seems so hard. I mean....why does every little thing seem so huge? I know. I know. Life isn't fair. Life isn't easy. That's just the way it is. Still....I finding myself standing here wanting to scream, "WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH LIFE?" I'm just shaking my head at how silly that sounds. You know....you have these dreams...when you're young...that will come true when you grow up. And then you find yourself in adult mode and you realize that those dreams aren't as easily attained as you thought they would be. And you grow up and fully recognize the dysfunction in your life....the problems that come with growing up and so forth. It's one thing to make a mistake when you're a child but it's something entirely different when you're an adult. At the ripe, old age of (almost) 48, I can look back on all of the wrong turns I've made...the foolish choices...the "I should've picked door #1 instead of what's in the box" times. It's hard to be dysfunctional and to be surrounded by dysfunction. KWIM? It's really difficult to look around and see....actually SEE the mistakes you've made. It's hard to accept that you've done a rotten job when you thought you were doing really well. It hurts to see it and it feels like it's almost too late to do anything about it. I'm struggling with the hurt...with the realization that I'm way beyond flawed. It's hard to look at the plans...to see the mistakes...and find the eraser so I can revise everything. I have to do just that but it's so damn hard. I'm taking 2 steps forward but 15 back.
So I'm back to wondering why life is so hard. Why are the bits and pieces so tough? Where's the "life" manual? It would help if I had some directions so everything will be assembled correctly. Yeah. That would help a lot.
Guess I'm on my own.
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