2010

It's Spring. 2010. My last post was Fall of 2009. Where does the time go????


Survived the holidays. Survived going into a new year. Life goes on. Stuff happens. It can be frustrating, stressful, sad, happy, exciting...just all around the emotional universe. I'm hanging in there. Doing the one day at a time thing. lol S'ok.


I made a decision regarding one of the medicines I take for my manic depression. I've done a lot of soul-searching about it. Whether or not to change. To stop taking the med. I started thinking about how I'd been feeling since taking the med. I've done some research and identified with most of the side effects that people experience while taking Lamictal. I decided that I needed to stop taking the med. I want to see what I feel like when I'm "non-Lamictaled." (Made that up. lol) I've been feeling so...so...like I'm in a fog. My concentration and memory suck. (That's blunt but there it is.) I feel emotionally flat. I have zero energy. I'm dizzy and my coordination stinks. I went to see my shrink yesterday afternoon, and I told him I wanted to stop taking the Lamictal. He said, "Convince me why you should stop." We discussed the side effects and how I'd been feeling. He reviewed my file...checking the notes from my previous shrink who went to work at a local mental health facility (read: loony bin). My doc saw where I hadn't been 100% sure I wanted to take the Lamictal. We talked more and he agreed that we should see what I "look" like without the med. I came out of that meeting feeling relieved and excited. I'm hoping and praying that getting the med out of my system will bring me back to the "living" so to speak. I hope I'll come out of the fog and get away from the "flatness." I feel good about taking control and making that decision. It feels really good. :-)


I'll be weaning the med...slowly...slowly...which is exactly how I want. My last dose is in June, so we have a goal...something to look forward to. Just around my b'day (my 49th - ick), I should feel different. I'm hoping it'll be the best b'day gift I can give myself. Yea!


The countdown begins. I'll keep you posted.